Alfa Romeo offering cheapest prices ever, advertises fact by confusing and enraging potential buyers.

Already stereotypes are being smashed. An Alfa!? In the COUNTRY?!

"It's not a car moite, it's an Alfa Romeo" intones the suitably impressed farmer in the new Cummins+Partners ad for Alfa after he watches a woman reduce her entire mate selection criteria to a car.

Honestly, at this point can we not just abandon all pretense and go with the full RedPill "Alfa as fuck"?

The campaign has two major problems: Firstly, its' essential message is one that the Alfisti know by heart. Secondly, it's preaching to the converted in the dumbest possible way.

Beginning with the latter; unless my watch, phone, computer and Adventure Time calender are all faulty we're well and truly into 2014. Yet the best figurative hypodermic needle this ad agency can come up with to jam into viewers the notion that they should rush out and buy this car is "if you do, women will like you?"

Please.

We're all now living in a world where 22 year old virgins produce lengthy tracts vowing revenge on the women who've reject them despite how nice of a car they drive. At this point anyone basing an ad campaign (for a hatchback of all things!) on the toxic notion that a mans' social capital is derived from the things he owns and that women have a duty to respond "appropriately" (give attention/affection which is owed to men once they pass a certain arbitrary threshold of social capital) is either a marketing exec from the fifties who owes one of his mates $50 because that time machine totally did work or is someone who is taking the whole "retro is cool when used ironically" thing way too far.

More than that; it's that if you're an Alfisti, chances are you're gonna charge out and buy the Giuletta anyway. That's kinda the point of Alfa ownership. You don't need to be told that women will like you because the dyed in the wool enthusiasts are gonna have one regardless of who does or does not find them more attractive as a result. As an expansion on that point; I know plenty of women Alfisti who have/want Giulettas. These ads sure as hell ain't advertising to most them.

So who exactly are they adverting too? With the message "It's not a car, its an Alfa Romeo" it's certainly not the mainstream car buyer. They're all lined up 'round the block to point out that "yeah, it is a car."

You know it's bad when even Batman is pissed.

That said, it's been a long time in Australia since you could buy an Alfa for the equivalent of $27,000. I am an Alfisti and I'd love to see more Alfas on Australian roads. But there must be a better way of getting the word out than this. Please Alfa Australia. Do better.